Dan and Austin have a difficult time dealing with a secret cabal that controls every aspect of your life: words.
Austin is a marvel of physics, Dan is failure as a man. And they recorded this at Christmas.
Austin and Dan can't quite forgive Sean Penn in Mystic River so they proceed to take it out on the entire city of Boston. We're sorry, America.
Home ownership is hard, because you have to deal with children on Halloween. Being a child is hard, because you may have to interact with Austin at some point on Halloween. (Dan has alerted local authorities to the problem.)